Grieving The Loss of My Maltese Dog Is Very Hard


grieving the loss of my Maltese dog

Grieving the loss of my Maltese dog is so hard! I don’t want to think about him …and yet I feel better when I do. Weeks passed by and I still can’t believe he is not here. I called him my beautiful, my precious, my sweetie, my cutie…

I’m missing him so much. Nobody spent as much time with him as I did. He was my fur baby, my child who never grew up, who made me smile – a silly, playful dog who was there for me all the time. His love was unconditional. It’s so painful to let go!

 

His first weeks with us.

grieving my maltese dog loss

He was 16 years old but people still called him “puppy.” We knew his time was coming but you are never really ready for this. How can you accept that this part of your life will be gone forever?

I can’t believe he is never going to lay down next to me, we will never go for a walk again, he will never wait for me to come home…and there are so many more things that will never happen again.

My heart is broken, I’m missing him so much and nothing can change this.

I remember the day I pick him up. He was so tiny, only 7 weeks old and so cute. He must have been scared because he threw up on my sweater when we were driving. On our 1st day together, I took him to work with me and he was sleeping on my lap most of the day, my precious, tiny ball of fur.

His first leash.

grieving the loss of maltese dog

 

16 years passed by too quickly and he is gone. He was old and had health problems we couldn’t cure. He didn’t want to eat or drink, he had a problem with balance, he lost weight and was so skinny. I fed him by hand just so he would eat something.

Did he know? In his last months, he was giving me kisses like never before, licking my face when I kept him in my arms. He was cuddling more and slept a lot. I’m finding some comfort in thinking that maybe he understood…but still, I can’t accept it.

After his seizures, when I was watching him helplessly and then comforting him when it was over I knew we can’t wait much longer. I didn’t want to see him suffer. Both vets who examined him told us they are ready whenever we are ready. But can you really be ready for this? I still feel guilty thinking that maybe we should wait longer… but then right away I realize this wouldn’t make any sense since he was not going to get better.

I am crying when I think about my sweetheart.

The days are empty without him.

The house is quiet without him.

I wake up and don’t see his cute face.

I don’t have to rush him outside to do his business.

I don’t have to feed him in the morning.

Walking through the house, I’m noticing things that surprise me but quickly realize why.

Walking into the kitchen I see his bowls are missing. I turn around and I don’t see his crate. I step out of the bedroom stunned because the baby gate is not there by the stairs. I’m moving around the kitchen and instinctively watching under my feet so I don’t step on him… only realizing he is not there.

Some of the most painful reminders are in my office. He was there with me all the time sleeping in his bed next to my desk. I could just look down and he was there looking at me. Still, when I’m moving in my chair or getting up I routinely look to the floor so I’m not rolling my chair into him…and I’m surprised he is not there.

Sleeping next to my desk.

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grievingthelossofmymaltese

 

I’m coming home and I don’t hear his barking…then it comes to me he is not there. It is so hard to live without him.

I got rid of most of his stuff but kept a couple items. As long as I have them he is still here. I didn’t wash his blanket on purpose. It still smells like him so I can hold it in my arms and feel him again. I also kept one of his first toys, one of his favorite and plushest of toys. I had to mend it so many times. He liked to rest his head on the toys while sleeping or watching me.

When I was walking thru the house he was always right behind me, literally stepping on my heels. He was always so happy to see me, getting crazy when I was back home.

In the last few years, he couldn’t go up or down the stairs, so I was carrying him up and down whenever I needed to do something. But in his last weeks, when I left him upstairs he didn’t even complain about not coming down the stairs with me. He was sticking his head out through the railings and watching me silently.

Is it possible he knew?  He was so much more quiet in his last few weeks, almost like he gave up and he was accepting this.

It breaks my heart to think about him, but it is also comforting in some ways. I didn’t want to look through his pictures. It was too painful but then I stopped resisting. They are a reminder of these good times we had together and I feel better thinking he’s had a good and a long life with us. I want to believe he is in a happier place now.

One of the worst moment for me was when cleaning the house just 2 days after he was gone.  His footprints were still there on the floor. It was so painful to remove them knowing that this is the last visible sign of him. That day I made a lot of pictures of my floor even though the footprints were barely visible.

His footprints on the floor.

Grieving the loss of Maltese dog

 

Looking through the window into the backyard, I see him running there like crazy from one end to the other. He loved to be outside. He loved to play in the backyard.

I’m catching myself talking to him in my head while looking at his picture in front of my desk or the one I put on my cellphone cover. I want him here with me. I can see his cute face whenever I’m checking my phone and then I smile … or I cry.

His cute picture on my phone.

grieving my maltese dog

 

I love him so much and I want him back! I want to hold him in my arms again, cuddle with him, listen to his barking, take him for a walk…but he really is gone.

Some days are better than others but there is no way back.  It helps to know we were so lucky to have him in our life. He is not here anymore but he will always stay in our hearts.

It is so true we don’t realize what we’ve lost until it’s gone. Hug your fur babies often, show them your love, don’t get angry when they do something wrong, enjoy them as much as you can because one day they will be gone and your memory of them is all that is left.

Last evening cuddling together.

im greaving my maltese dog

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For these who went through the same pain of losing beloved Maltese dog and would like a reminder, here are some t-shirts and coffee mugs. You can view them or other Maltese designs by clicking HERE or on the image below:

grievingmaltese

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Last updated on November 19, 2018 2:56 am

21 thoughts on “Grieving The Loss of My Maltese Dog Is Very Hard

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I cried reading your painful tribute to your beloved pet, fur baby. May the many happy memories help carry you through your grief. He was a beautiful pup.

  2. Oh my, your words were so heartbreaking. I can feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. Tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. He was adorable and will always be in your heart. Cherish your memories. It’s hard to realize that gradually instead of those memories bringing anguish, they will bring joyful memories of your times together.

      1. I’m so sorry for your loss.i have my Teddy on my lap and I just can’t imagine my life without his love. Time will heal your heart, try to hang in there….

        1. Thank you Maria. You are right that passing time heals the pain, but still, it’s very hard to live without him. I wish I could hug him again.

  3. I felt the same way when I lost my 14 year old Maltese Daisy. I didn’t want another dog but my fiancé wanted a Maltese that was extra small like the one my sister has. He has never raised his own dog, so I felt i agreed we should get another dog for him. He picked out the new Maltese and this is going to sound crazy but i think it is Daisy reincarnated. Oliver the puppy does everything just like Daisy did and at 9 weeks he knew how to go out the doggy door without being shown. The same doggy door Daisy used for years. Well it does sound crazy but if you really think about it coming into physical form is pretty crazy too. So where do we come from and where do we go? I believe Maltese and animals are angels and they are on assignment. But who knows if they can get reassigned back to us? All I know is getting this puppy really showed me the circle of life and it feels like Daisy saying, see I’m back full of life and joy, you don’t have to be that sad it’s the process everything goes through. but please think about getting another fur baby even Maltese rescue. There are so many babies that need us.

    1. I’m sorry for your loss but very happy to hear you found your Daisy in Oliver. It’s very uplifting to think the way you think about them coming back and being on assignment. I agree we know so little about the life after death or the pets souls. When we think how smart they are when they are alive anything seems possible. I’m not ready to think about another dog yet although I know there are many pets that really need a better home. Thank you again for your inspiring comment and I wish you a lot of happiness with Oliver.

    2. Your doggy door has your departed dogs scent. A little gift that Daisy left for anyone who came after, to make it easier for you. I am sure Daisy would want you to have anoher…as did my three did my fourth Maltese. Whom I adore as much as our others, as you will you new baby.

  4. I know how you feel losing your baby. I lost mine about a year ago and I still can’t get over it. My family gave me a cat and he’s a good cat but I can’t get over the loss of Rocco. I just wish I could get another Maltese. Rocko was a rescue and I don’t have to pay anything for him but I can’t pay the prices that they asked for for a new Maltese so I’m looking for a rescue again but it’s hard to find God bless you and I hope you get over your loss

    1. Thank you so much Cindy and I’m sorry for your loss. It helps to know I’m not alone. It may not be easy to find another Maltese especially when you are on a limited budget but let’s hope there is one sweetie waiting for you somewhere, you just have to keep looking.

      Have you checked the American Maltese Rescue Organization yet? I can see on their website http://www.americanmalteserescue.org/ they have some Maltese dogs available for adoption in certain states.
      I also found this Facebook page with Maltese rescue dogs for adoption and their pictures https://www.facebook.com/maltese.rescueme.org/.

      And yet another website http://www.petango.com/ where you enter the breed and your location to see if they have any Maltese now.

      You can also place your ad on the free advertising website saying you are looking to adopt a Maltese dog. There are people who for whatever reason can’t keep the dog and would be happy to give it away to a good home.

      I wish you all the luck with your search and keep me posted if you do find one.

  5. This should so touched my heart…the doggie footprint pretty much did it. I finally stopped crying to drop a note to you. I am sure you are still raw and need time. But finding another if you can will help. I made the mistake of getting rid of my Maltese Toby’s things when Toby and I were attacked by a pit bull in our yard and he died in my arms. My husband was so inconsolable that we decided to find another Maltese a few months later.. Mind you, we had just lost our 2nd Maltese to old age when we got Toby only to lose him within months of getting him. So, not only destroyed us emotionally the cost was pretty devastating. Getting our 4th and final puppy, Bubba we are in our late 60s so it’s obvious why it is likely our last. But take heart that your baby lived an awesome life and you were able to help him go painlessly and with great love. May you seek solace in another wonderful, lucky Maltese, whether it be a puppy or a rescue. There is one lucky pup out there waiting for you.

  6. We did get our 4th puppy, Bubba and he was the best medicine to mend our broken hearts. I neglected to tell you we got him, about 3 months after losing Toby. So, he has been a God send and we are thankful to have found him. Best to you….you are in my prayers.

    1. Thank you so very much Francis for this reassurance that we did the right thing even if it hurts so much. I feel sorry for your loss and can’t imagine to live through what you went thru, especially with Toby’s violent death.

      I’m so happy you’ve found Bubba who is giving you joy and heals your heart. I know it’s too early for me to think about another dog, but maybe one day I will. Thanks for your prayers.

  7. I’m so so sorry for your loss. Reading about yours makes me feel like I’m not alone. I tragically lost my Maltese Lucky girl on May 12, 2017. She was out for a normal walk and someone’s pitbull broke loose and killed her. I’ve been in so much pain. Everyone who knew cried with me and of course I cried alone. It’s funny bcuz I never noticed just how many pics and videos she was in. Seeing them in my phone for the 1 st time knocks the wind out of me. But she was soooooooo loved. I would hold her for hours at a time. And she was very spoiled lol. There are no words for how much I miss her. Some days I don’t think about her much and those are my easy days. Right after she passed each person in my house heard her bark. I thought I was losing my mind, but not afraid. I just wanted to see her again. She can never be replaced but everyone keeps telling me to get another one so I’m on a quest. Thanks for sharing your story. I’ll be praying for you.

    1. Thank you Shanna for your kind words. I’m also very sorry for your loss, especially such a tragic one. Can’t even imagine what you are going through. My sweetie was already 16 years old and we knew his time was coming, so this wasn’t really a surprise. Your loss was very sudden and violent.

      For me, it’s been 6 months already and I still can’t get over it. Same as you I have the “easy” days and there are days when I see him everywhere and can’t stop crying. It does get better with time, but still, the pain is there. I like to look at his pictures and to remember how good it was to have him in our life. But I have a hard time to watch the videos because they are so real like he is still here with us but you can’t hug him, or kiss him. I wish you to find the peace in your heart and when you are ready you can get another puppy to be loved and spoiled. There are so many of them that need a good home and the life they deserve. I didn’t decide to get another one because I don’t feel ready yet. For some people, it’s easier to get a new dog but I want to be sure I’m ready for the new commitment. I hope you will find out what your heart is leading you to do. There is no wrong or right in it, just doing what feels good to you. All the best!

      1. Came across your blog today and was compelled to write after reading your heartbreaking story. I went through so many similar emotions when we lost our precious Maltese in 2010. Our baby went everywhere with us, including Paris. She was thirteen and her passing was cruel and sudden. I was emotionally wrecked and cried for months. The kindness of others who contacted me (like those on this blog) moved me tremendously. My only peace came in knowing that she was loved her ENTIRE life…just as yours was. From the day I picked her up at eight weeks old she was the center of my universe and my little soul mate. It was my privilege to love her and care for her…to go to bed with her after teeth cleanings and keep her close while she recovered. It took me years before I was ready for another. Yet people who loved theirs as much as I loved mine contacted me to say they had another Maltese in a matter of days. You are so right, the heart leads. One day a friend at the market asked me “Are you over her yet and ready to get another?” My answer was “I’ll never be over her.” That’s the truth.
        We NEVER get over it, we just learn how to live with it. Grieving is very personal; as you so aptly point out, there is no right or wrong. It took me YEARS. The piece of my heart that went with her, was only hers. Thankfully I realized my heart is big enough to love again. Keep us posted with your journey. You are not alone; and you were so brave to share your personal story. It is a gentle reminder to make the most of every day with our beloved Maltese…and to hold them and spoil them just a little more than usual. Best wishes.

  8. Drenched in tears reading your story. Sorry for your pain, I’m beyond relating.
    I lost my little Maltese buddy, Willie on January 22,2018 and not handling it well at all. He was my everything! Broken

    1. Thank you Leslie and I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know how much it hurts especially when the loss is as fresh as yours. It’s already over 1 year since my baby is gone and I’m still hurting but it is easier now. I can talk about him without crying and look at other dogs without feeling sad. Some people open their hearts to a new pet because this helps them to heal. I’m not ready for another one but sometimes I wish I was because there are so many pets that need a good home. What helped me is to know my baby is not suffering anymore, he is in a happy place now and I have the memories I will always cherish. I wish you all the best.

  9. This made me so sad. My Maltese is 17 and has been declining (hair loss, mostly blind, mostly deaf) our vet said that if I said good bye he would probably just pass. It took me awhile but I did. He is still here😀. We had to switch him to baby food so he could swallow it. But amazingly he is still a happy guy. I know I need to be prepared but I just can’t. I feel I will feel the same as you. im just loving every single day with him like it’s his last. I hope you have found some peace.

    1. Thanks Ericka. Enjoying them as long as possible it’s all we can do. When they start suffering is when we have to make this decision which hurts so much. You will know in your heart when this time comes but now just cherish every moment especially if he is still a happy guy. I’m missing my fur baby a lot but it sure gets easier with passing time to accept it. At least now I can think or talk about him without crying. I remind myself we’ve had a great 16 years together, we loved him and spoiled him a lot and that’s all that it counts now.

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